Read time: 3 minutes
We’ll help you prepare for the decisions and emotions that go with divorce.
- What you need to know
Find out what kind of representation may be right for you.
- What you need to do
Learn what documentation you’ll need.
- What’s ahead
Get tips for starting your new life and where to find support.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
We understand that divorce can be a painful experience. There are emotions to deal with and important decisions to make that will shape your future. This time of transition is an opportunity to thoughtfully consider options that will enhance your long-term emotional and financial wellbeing.
Family and friends can provide emotional support during this difficult time. There are also many groups out there with people experiencing similar situations. You can find support groups near you here and at the end of this article .
Professionals—such as an attorney and a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA)—can help you navigate the divorce process, ensuring that you effectively safeguard your financial interests.
Learn more about the financial side of divorce in Navigating the financial side of divorce.
Divorce or separation?
There are 3 types of separations
During a trial separation, spouses don’t live together while they decide whether to divorce. If a couple decides to divorce, a permanent separation could be the next step. Some states consider any assets or debts acquired after the date of a permanent separation to be solely attributable to the spouse who acquired them.1 Lastly, a legal separation is approved by the courts and usually involves an agreement that can be used as the framework for a divorce decree.
Learn more about the different separation options and how they work in your state. You can also consult a family law attorney to help you understand your available options.
Mediator or lawyer?
Whether you opt for a legal separation or a divorce, the next thing you should consider is whether to use a mediator or a lawyer. If you and your spouse can agree on important issues such as child support and custody, division of property and debt, and spousal support, a mediator can help you through the divorce process. A mediator can work with both sides to come to an agreement. The costs and time of using a mediator are generally less than with a lawyer-driven divorce.2
A lawyer, on the other hand, can only represent one side in a divorce. So, each spouse will need their own lawyer, usually from separate firms. If the divorce is complicated or if you and your spouse can’t agree on key issues, you may want to consider a lawyer.
Get your info together
Start by gathering your important documents, even those you might think are irrelevant. It’ll be worth the effort. Include:
- Prenuptial or postnuptial agreements
- Marriage certificate
- Paycheck info
- Joint tax returns
- Credit reports
- Life insurance policies
- Wills and living wills
- Power of attorney
- Trust documents
- Health insurance policies
- Property tax statements
- Home and auto insurance policies
- Birth certificates
- Social Security cards
- Passports
- Childcare expenses
Then, make a list of your assets and debts. These can include:
- Checking and savings accounts
- Investment accounts
- Vehicle titles and real estate deeds
- Retirement plan accounts
- Credit card balances
- Medical bills
- Loan info for things like mortgages, retirement plans, vehicles, and education
What about the kids?
If you have minor children, you’ll need to think about custody, support, and visitation. Familiarizing yourself with the laws in your state can help make the process and decisions easier.
Custody. Becoming familiar with the types of custody (there are many) will help you decide what will be best for your child and your situation. Physical custody, primary physical custody, and equally shared custody are a few options. Learn more and be prepared for what your partner may want.
Support. When parents separate or divorce, the court may order one parent to pay child support, in most cases to the custodial parent. Whether you reach an agreement through mediation or the courts, you should know how child support is calculated.
If a hearing is involved, make sure you have copies of your last two years of tax returns, last two months of paystubs, documents for income from other sources, childcare costs, and costs related to health insurance for your child. This is just one example of why getting your info together ahead of time comes in handy.
Visitation. Visitation allows a parent to visit with their child. How often, when, and where the visits take place (and if the visits need to be supervised by another adult) can be decided in mediation or by the court. Unlike physical custody, visitation doesn’t mean a child will live with a parent who has visitation rights on a long-term basis. However, overnight, weekend, or even longer visits can be agreed upon.
Remember: Both parents have the right to a relationship with their child, and vice versa. It’s in the best interests of everyone involved for both parents to agree on custody and visitation. If you can’t agree and a custody complaint is filed, a judge will determine what’s in your child's best interest.
Spousal support
Also known as alimony, spousal support is money one spouse is required to pay to the other spouse. This is common when there’s a significant difference in incomes or earning potential between the spouses. The amount of money and duration can vary depending on the situation. Spousal support is separate from the division of marital property and is not part of child support.
The intention of spousal support is to lessen the economic effects of divorce by providing a continuing stream of income to the lower-wage-earning or non-wage-earning spouse. Laws for spousal support differ by state.
Learn more about spousal support.
Life after divorce
Divorce is a life-altering experience, both personally and financially. But thinking of it as a fresh start can help you gather strength, rebuild, and move on.
Here are some things you should do as you start your new life:
- Open new accounts. If you haven’t already done so, open new bank accounts and credit card accounts in your name.
- Change your beneficiaries. Update your personal insurance policies and retirement plan account beneficiaries.
- Update your Social Security info. If you changed your name, give your new info to the Social Security Administration.
- Know how to file taxes. You may have to change your filing status, withholding, and how you claim dependents. Learn more about filing taxes after divorce or separation.
Resources
As part of a support group, you’ll be with people who are experiencing similar emotions and difficulties. This can help provide a sense of companionship and empowerment, enabling you to take control of your life. There are many groups out there. Here are a few:
1Legal separation vs. divorce: What’s the difference? Kimberlee Leonard. Forbes Advisor. August 2022.
2Divorce Mediation vs Lawyer: Which is Right for You? Joe Dillon. Equitable Mediation Services. 2023.
Advice is provided by Vanguard Advisers, Inc. (VAI), a federally registered investment advisor. Eligibility restrictions may apply. VAI cannot guarantee a profit or prevent a loss.